post-cohost posting

So, cohost went read-only on monday (oct 1st). I stayed up till 3am the night before getting my posting in and out _{(also watched the last 30 minutes of end of evangelion...)}, then i woke up and while I made breakfast watched the switch get flipped. My muscle memory has still typed the "c" into my address bar and autocompleted to the amber-held website probably 50 times this week, but actually, overall, I'd say I'm feeling good.

I pre-emptively uninstalled instagram the friday before, so now on my phone all that's grabbing at my attention is discord, are.na, and the infinite firefox tabs. Discord is definitely still a bit of a time sink and has the unfortunate intersection of also being way more socially charged than cohost was. Not exactly a place for free self-indulgence... Are.na is just, idk, silly feeling. I was really into it for a while last year, but it just feels so overwhelmingly "aesthetic" and not nearly as human centered. You have to do some really sideways stuff for it to be social, you can't do it inside the website itself. And then my firefox tabs.... I've got 36 open on my laptop right now and it's really slowing things down. Too many people to keep tabs on in this exodus and fraidyc.at wasn't working so I might have to jump ship to something else. Plus I still haven't got the rss working for this thing! I know I could do it by hand but my whole main site is already done by hand and I am realizing I need something with less of a barrier of entry. I don't know, I'm obviously still figuring out how this'll work for me. Maybe I'll update as it develops.

The minimization of phone stimuli has been helping me text people though, which is a good thing for sure :^)

I have been feeling a nice clearheadedness that comes from being a bit more disconnected. Part of what got me into that past phase with just are.na on my phone was reading Max Fowler & Catherine Schmidt's "Disconnection Practices" _{(which hey i should reread shouldn't i...)}

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Today after I got home I stopped off in the storage unit instead of heading upstairs to swap my backpack for my skateboard. I was listening to music and had a really beautiful moment of feeling completely alone. I had that compulsion to check to see if I'd gotten a text or if there might be some... something in the apps I should open and look at, but then I just knew completely that I didn't, that there wasn't anything for me to see and I might as well be here now, y'know?

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