b-day tarot + explainer

wow so it's my bday tomorrow!! i have to do a big massive tarot spread to set the sights for the coming year, and i figured "hey, this'd be a great opportunity to explain what the hell I'm doing!"

let's go!

low light. a little yellow box and a maroon bag sit on a white cloth, which is spread out on a blue, pink, and white blanket.

"damn fran, what a boring image!" I hear you shouting. Please, have mercy, all beautiful things start from something simple and unexciting!

From the ground up: 1) blanket of untold significance. 2) special tarot cloth... and then 3b) on the right: my main deck (Motherpeace...) and 3a) on the left: my mom's mini Rider-Waite-Smith. Next!

same as above, but now you can see the round orange stack of cards and the smaller rectangular blue/white crosshatched stack of cards. there is an open laptop on the right that says Saturday, Sept. 14.

moving in a bit....... this is just a simple moment to put a finer point on the way that i delineate and contain the space by framing the field of the spread with the flipped "joker" cards. Also it is unusual for me to do a spread with both decks but for something as big as my own birthday (that is so bound up in my mom uh, yeah sorry i'm just gonna say this up top to get it out of the way as a trigger warning but my mom died on sept 28th, after my 8th bday, so it is always pretty bound up in grief for me..) I might as well go all out you know?

the little maroon square on the left is the motherpeace booklet that i read out of when interpreting the cards

(and on the right is my laptop... but it immediately started acting weird so it got put aside until after all the pulling...)

At this point I shuffle the decks a few times. I used to pick a number (and sometimes I still do), but usually I just shuffle till it feels scrambled enough. While I'm shuffling I pose a question to the cards.

this time it was "How do I live my 29th year to its fullest?"

two pages of the Motherpeace tarot booklet. On the left is text that reads: Use the meanings as springboards for your own definitions of the cards. The meanings given apply to upright cards. A few reversed meanings that are special cases are included. Reversed (Upside down): This means that the energy of the card is blocked, or that what's happening is felt unconsciously. Sideways: The interpretation could go either way, to reversed or upright; the choice is in your control. Tilted to the right: The energy is pushed, forced harder than necessary. Tilted to the left: The energy is held back; you need to be more direct. The meanings of the cards in each position of the accompnaying diagram are as follows: 1. Significator: Who or where you are at the moment. 2. Atmosphere: The event of action that sets the stage of the reading. 3. Crosscurrent: What you are learning about; the lesson of the month (or cycle). 4. Root: What you are standing on; the unconscious. 5. Passing away: An event; the recent past - yesterday to last week. 6. Sky: Personality, head, spirit connection; how you behave in the world. 7. Near future: Tomorrow to next week. On the right page is a diagram with 13 numbered circles. The first three are inside a triangle.

before we can even look at the cards i drew (because it immediately gets really complicated), i realize i should explain the spread.

just look at the photo. (sorry if i haven't implemented click-to-make-bigger functionality yet. if not, just open in a new tab.) Text is transcribed in the alt-text if you can't read it.

this also explains orientation, which is important for motherpeace's circular cards. and don't worry about #8-13... I'll explain when we get there.

the orange and blue-white card backs are visible from before, but now three round and three rectangular cards are face up, arranged in a triangle.

ok, first draws! These are drawn and placed starting from the top, then counter clockwise. "#a" is motherpeace, "#b" is RWS. Also, interpretation in quotations are usually coming straight from the motherpeace booklet.

1a.) Significator: ↓ Empress
- "Great Mother Goddess incarnate in earthly, bodily form; Right relationship to all life." that's me babey B) but it's reversed, so it's actually either unconscious or held back...
1b.) ← 9 of Discs
- "solitary creative work; Reversed: Going out into the world with your art/healing skills." but sideways, so it's up to me to decide which one it'll be!
2a.) Atmosphere: ↙ 5 of Cups
- "going thru old feelings in order to move on." tilted way back, meaning this is what i'd like to be able to be doing, but there isn't time.
2b.) → 2 of Wands
- "Invention; a sense of personal power; sexual attraction." I'm putting the whole quote from the booklet down bc Uh.. well you'll see later...
3a.) Crosscurrent: → 4 of Discs
- fucking love this card. love most of the discs honestly because i love materiality but anyway, "Gaining control of your doorway - who comes in and who comes out." In this position I'd say I need to practice boundaries, that's the hard lesson I'm learning.
3b.) ↑ 9 of Wands
- "energy in reserve for when you decide to use it." This is a moment just looking at the card is instructive. That guy is fucking scared. He's got all this power and he's afraid to use it...

same as above, but now with 8 more cards in a cross around the first 6.

"Fran!! This is getting out of control!!!" sorry sorry i know, this is only like half way through...

now if you go back and look at the diagram, you'll see we start at the bottom with #4, then go clockwise.

4a.) Root: ← 8 of Wands
- "High velocity energy focused on a goal; being almost there." This is a funny one with the orientation and position. Such active energy in the root position implies a kind of churning underground while the heldback sideways suggests uh, chaos! like that energy might just blow up in my face if i'm not careful! also kind of making me think of a fire that's still burning underground.
4b.) ↓ Judgement
- oh this is another funny Moment that will make sense later... "A sure sign of the arrival of the New Age is the movement of the personal consciousness from ego to heart. As the heart opens, compassion is felt not only for others but for the self, allowing old judgements to fall away while anger and hatred are released into the past." But it's reversed!! more later..
5a.) Passing away: ↓ Magician
- "ego in action, swift movement and organization. She starts projects [...] and creates through the fire of will." But again, Reversed!!
5b.) ↓ King(Shaman) of Wands
- "Liason between groups; power issues; an authority or specialist." This guy showed up last moon cycle, so that makes sense it's in the "past" position. Pretty sure it was reversed then too lol.
6a.) Sky: ↑ Son(Knight) of Cups
- "Meditation; mediation; music; messages from the unconscious." Classic sky card. Sky is both the way i act in the world and my spirit connection, so this basically saying that (right now/for the next year) all these things are important to me in those ways. I'm still practicing my guitar and my drums! I'm trying to listen to my inner voice!
6b.) ↓ Temperance
- ough temperance always fucks me up when it shows up. honestly one of the most charged cards in the deck for me. It has a depth i feel a long ways from understanding. It is the card that comes after the death card..."When death is no longer feared, body and soul can integrate with one another, creating balance and a centered self in the midst of moving energies." It's an extremely material card and yeah, it's reversed, that makes sense. I'm not as good at this balance as I'd like to be (and it is a spiritual and interpersonal matter.)
7a.) Future: ↑ Judgement
- Judgement's back! and it's on the horizon!! This is a great (and fairly simple) example of what I love about such a big spread: You can put cards in conversation with each other! This double appearance in the root (reversed) and the future tells me that I have a deep self-judgement that will be purified in a gay fucking blast sometime in this coming year... *does the little "yikes" collar pull*
7b.) ↑ Page(Daughter) of Cups
- "Pleasures; sense tripping; inspired vision; gaiety." hahahahahaha

same as above, but with 12 more cards to complete the surrounding circle/spiral. It's pretty overwhelming.

"AAAUUGHHH FRAN WTF!" shhhh,, that's all okay? that's everything. that's all the cards I'll pull, I promise.

referencing the diagram again, we start in the top left with #8. See how the pattern makes a kind of spiral?

8a.) Self-concept ("How you feel or think about yourself, whether in harmony or in conflict with the significator (#1). Self-concept is easily changed.") : ↘ 8 of Cups
- "Going down to touch deep emotions; gathering yourself together." Yeah, true. A kind of balm to the empress, or a way there. Orientation here also doubles as literally pointing/diving toward #1.
8b.) ↓ 8 of Discs
- (that's three 8's in a row) "On the path; having many skills; cooperation". So here that feels too good to read straight, so I'm going to interpret the reversal as an "unconscious" feeling. I do have many skills, I am on the path, I just keep forgetting to give myself that credit. (self-concept is easily changed.)
9a.) Hopes & Fears ("Usually both.") : → 3 of Discs
- Another great discs card, maybe my favorite. "Group project; finding life's work; spiritual work." But what's scary about that?
9b.) ↗ 10 of Cups
- "Giving thanks for a good harvest." But What's Scary About That? _{(haha i'm not going to explain this here sorry)}
10a.) House ("An indivual or group whose energy you are drawing to yourself, either as a drain or as a source." I also usually interpret this as my literal house.) : ↗ Priestess(Queen) of Discs
- Just a hair forced. "Being in the body; yoga; inner sight; security." This force is a soft pressure.
10b.) → The Sun
- "When fog clears and consciousness awakens, happiness rises as inevitably as the Sun. The spirit is refreshed, life makes sense, and the personality experiences a warm, open-eyed awareness of its purpose in the world." This force is demanding. Like bleaching something in the sun. Inescapable.
11a.) Outcome (These are the 3₍₆₎ cards in the bottom left. "If this card is a Major Arcana it indicates how the cycle in the reading will turn out. If this card is a Minor Arcana, turn over more cards until you get a Major Arcana card, or until three are turned over. The Minor Arcana are steps to the outcome. If there is no Major Arcana card, the outcome is either up to you or not clear. In that case, pay attention to the first Minor Arcana card and put the rest away." pfff, lol, i never put the rest away. lucky i did hit a Major, or I might've kept going! I usually interpret the outcome cards as a pathway i will move through during or after the cycle.) :
actually let's just zoom in here.

a close up. three round cards and three rectangular cards.

Whew, great, okay, what've we got here? (don't forget we're going right to left.)

11a.) Outcome 1: ↖ Daughter of Swords
- The only sword in the whole spread! "Testing your skills and power; calling energy to you."
11b.) ↓ Queen of Wands
- "A channel; a magician who contains and disperses energy."
12a.) Outcome 2: ← 3 of Wands
- "Communication; teaching and learning; artistic endeavors; shared projects."
12b.) ↓ Knight of Wands
- "A clown; the energy to delight; light, relaxed, spirit; freedom."
13a.) Outcome 3: ↗ 2 of Wands
- There she is again, remember? From way back in atmosphere! This is something that has been my miasma and will continue to be my miasma.
13b.) ↑ The Hierophant
- aaaaand it's the fucking Heirophant again. He was in the House position back in the spread for the most recent new moon.

a wider shot of the blue, pink, and white blanket with the tarot spread on it. It's just on a rug on the floor.

"but fraaan, what does it mean????

yeah fair enough. well, this whole post was me explaining it. i could do more to dredge out my feelings about it (which is to say, explain the stuff that might be hard or sticky or difficult), but i haven't got the energy and this is a public space after all.. shit's probably going to get scraped by some fucking llm anyway, smh. if you read this far thank you so much, that means so much, maybe you could "leave me a comment" (send me an email) if you felt any sort of way about it at all?

b-day tarot + explainer

let's go!

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