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ohhhhh fuck okay here we go

so, I've been feeling drawn to do some sort of life writing lately like what i used to do with my email newsletters. idk, cohost feels like it's been drying up, discord is boring/too entrancing, ig is dead to me, but emails are still just too much work for me! it doesn't help that i have like, a bunch of emotional turmoil going on that makes it hard for me to talk to people without being either too shallow/obtuse or way too intense...

but, that being said, i think it would be really nice to be able to get some words down about what I've been up to! Olivia and I just moved into a new apartment, which is despite our concerns actually definitely better than our old place. The kitchen, though smaller, feels very "yes chef!" because it's got a tighter U design rather than a long galley setup, so we can just spin around when we're cooking which it turns out is more efficient anyway. The living room feels bigger and the windows face the courtyard instead of the bus stop so it is soooo tranquil... And the bedroom is now southfacing (and more importantly the living room isn't westfacing) so we moved the curtains into the bedroom which is really cozy. And the bathroom is a bit bigger and the tub is like, in the corner instead of filling a whole side of the room and its window also faces south so i'm really looking forward to taking a bath in there...

that being said moving did definitely take all of my extra energy from saturday until the next sunday (9/1(i won't be done writing this until well after 8/30 but i don't wanna bother fixing the zonelets js to have it be the right date...)) and i am sooooo tired. like, not just physically but it feels like i don't have the capacity to think and have been either shutting down pretty quickly, struggling to think through things, or getting snappy really easy, which doesn't feel good. I'm trying really hard to take it easy but it's hard when there is so much to do. And there was already so much that needed to be done before the move and now there's all this moving stuff too.

Kind of a good segue into saying i had a testing appointment to get an ADHD diagnosis back on 8/24.. I don't get results until the 9/24 followup appointment tho which kinda sucks, but hopefully there will be a cancellation or something and i can get in earlier. I feel like really inhabiting the idea that I do have ADHD and it is an impediment to living the life i want to live has been making me feel way more insane and scattered and has kind of made everything harder actually? i mean, there's a lot of other stuff going on that is making things feel harder than "normal" but i just really hope i do get the diagnosis and can start medication because i think it might really help me make some life changes that need to be made. and yeah, maybe i'm over-investing in it a bit! maybe i'm hoping too hard! but whatever, we'll see what happens.