hi ok, so first, hit play on this bad boy:
ok i bet you're wondering how I got that video eh? I bet u want the story of how it came to be here in front of your eyes and in your ears!
so, that day that I did all my secrets, you remember the one, I was almost late on the way to Zeesen, and then on the almost late ride back I decided to do some secret scheming, and now, should I tell you what I did? I think I will!
My first stop was alexanderplatz for your treaty secret. I went to the lindt store, yes the same one we went to together when we went to the galeria! I kept it so secret that I'd already been there! And I did the same thing where I was like huh? That's it? That's barely any lindts here in the lindt store... and then I went up the stairs just like we did until I saw it was just pants up there and walked back down and wandered around until I found the stand that we ended up finding the stracciatella box. And you know, I was focused, driven forward by a singular idea of what I wanted to get you. Perhaps you remember, I was telling you about the thanksgiving thing I went to with the Tabac group? Frank was there, Audrey and Sophia were there, Jes was there, lots of people were there. We all had our antics leading up to dinner, we all ate our fill, and then we spun out from the dinner table into our little social pairs and trios and squares. As we pivoted towards a loose dessert, Jes fetched from a shelf in the living room these very special thin lindt chocolates. I loved the way they shattered in your mouth, and the bitter chocolate was such a refreshing lift after a heavy squash-filled course. I knew I needed to get you some! Time puttered along, and we hadn't had them yet by the time we decided we'd do treats for xmas, so I knew what I had to do! I considered at the shelf in the middle of the galeria amongst all the old women. There were three flavors you see. A milch, an orange, and a dark. And yes, the orange would be fun and very good I bet, but the proper thing to do was the dark, so I grabbed it and found my way to a register. I pocketed it on the inside of my jacket and kept it there all day, close to us once we came together!
A little intermission, the stamp that this link was tied to was, of course, from Luiban as I'm sure you could deduce. I got it the day I got my Hobonichi. I had to wait for that guy ahead of me if you remember, and I spent like 20 minutes combing through stamps to try to pick the right one. I hope I did! Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I have been carrying this stamp around with my in the breast pocket of my green jacket since I got it (close to my heart!) It has already been a part of our lives, living secretly under the surface. Hehe!
So anyway, I leave the galeria and figure I'll head to friedrichstrasse, Maybe Dussman's? But I get all messed up on the train, if you remember, so it takes me kind of a long time to get back there, and in all that time to reflect I decide the thing I need to do is go back to the Gendarmenmarkt. I set out south from Friedrichstrasse, pay my ceremonial 1 euro for entry, and then head into the handicrafts tent complex. First, I consider those metal earrings that we'd been looking at. I look at them like 4 times, asking questions, as is my way. I step outside and think. I have too many doubts, I decide, so I think what I have to do is get the bundle of 4 beeswax candles from the booth across from the earrings. I'll give them to you first thing christmas morning, and then we can light all four and have a ritualized space! That's sweet right? So I go back in and double check to be sure they really are 100% beeswax, and while I walk away to translate on my phone, another booth a few spots down catches my eye. Is that... erzegebirge? Some charming wooden sculptures? I walk over and Olivia I cannot tell you how intense this decision is. There are some candle holders, there are some standalones, but they just don't feel quite like what I need... Finally I settle on the ones I got you, after making the attendant very nervous because I was lurking and lingering so much, lol.
I emerge from the tent complex, riding high for doing so good! It's a beautiful day, the market isn't too busy since it's earlier. The horn group has started in, and I decide to just listen to them for a while, enjoy myself, especially since I'd be meeting you in like 20 minutes or something. If you remember, next to the stage there was a crepe stand with the folks in the tank tops because the griddles were so hot? I thought to myself, yeah, I think that's the special thing I want to get for myself, since I know Olivia wouldn't want one, but I sure do! And I'll tell you, it wasn't anywhere near the idea I have in my head of getting a hot fresh nutella crepe in paris on the street I lived on a rainy day, but dang if it wasn't still pretty good. And I stood there listening for a good long time. People passed me by, having their own magical little times. I nibbled on my crepe.
I thought hey, I should record some of this, it's really beautiful. So I pull out my phone and hit record, and then it hits me that they are playing "You raise me up", and I'm like oh my god... this is so beautiful :'^) And I"m thinking about how much I love you, and how you really do raise me up so much, and how we have that funny memory with carter at the disco skate rink where someone requested this song and we were all laughing but all also really in touch with the reverence and beauty of the song? And I got thinking and was like oh wouldn't it be lovely to share this with Olivia on christmas day? And it was like you were there with me, my spirit holding your spirit close while we stood by the statue in the bustling christmas market, and I was so happy, so full of brightness, lit up like a herrnhuter sterne.
I'm crying while I type this, lol, I love u so much Olivia, thank u for being in my life. thank you for being right here with my always, always always. This time together is a treasure, a pleasure, a radiant joy and more than I ever thought I'd have.
Anyway, here's a photo of my happy after finishing my crepe and about to go meet you for another fun berlin outting :^)
